For My Daddy

What can I even say to sum up my daddy? Just to give you a glimpse into the kind of father I was blessed to have, I can tell you that he was the VP of the spirit club my sophomore year, and President my junior year of High School. He would sit and listen to me when I was having boy problems, he would randomly give me cash "just because." He taught me about how a man is supposed to love his wife, how he is supposed to listen to her, give her hard advice when she needs it, guide her into making the right decision and when necessary, ask "are you on your period? Is that why you are being so emotional?"
Some of you may know that I didnt always get to have Russ as my father. Russ and Lynnette took me into their home when I was 14 years old and adopted me and my brother when I was 16. My biological father never had much to do with us, as he was in prison for most of our lives. I grew up not knowing how God had designed the relationship between a father and daughter to be like. Though I didnt get to have this kind of relationship until I was 14, it changed my life.
My daddy was there for me when everyone else was too tired or too fed up with me to listen to what I had to say, he was there for me when I hit my first deer driving to Claremore (he also had the police dept. and fire dept. there for me as well:)) he was there for me when the boy I thought was "the one" went back to Germany, he was there for me after my best friend was hit by a car, he was there for me when I realized I made a huge mistake in dating a different boy (without "I told you so's), he was there for me when I would call him crying from Stillwater because I didnt understand Kyle, he was there for me when we found out our biological father had passed away, he was there to give me advice, to give me a shoulder to cry on and a hand to pick me up when I fell down.
I dont know how I would have turned out if it wasnt for the unconditional love of my daddy. He helped mold me into the woman I am today and though Im not perfect by any means, I would be a lot farther away from it if it werent for him.

Thursday Morning Ritual

Thursday mornings are our Saturdays. Kyle works Friday night-Tuesday night so our weekends are different from most. We begin most Thursday mornings by the sound of our little one waking from his sleep. Either Kyle or I will get Bennett and give him his morning sippy and then I will start on breakfast. We have kinda made sort of a ritual of making breakfast on Thursdays because its one of the only days of the week we can all sit down and eat together. This morning, I made lemon poppyseed muffins, bacon, and scrambled eggs (Bennett got cheesy scrambled egg yolks). It was delicious and a fabulous start to our day. There is nothing better, in my opinion, than being able to sit down to a home cooked breakfast with my boys (and sweet baby girl).

Eating his yummy scrambled egg yolks!

mmmmmmm....

This is the mess that comes with a yummy breakfast!

I will be 19 weeks pregnant on Sunday! We are almost halfway there to meeting our baby girl! I cant even describe how fast time has flown since finding out we were expecting again. I have to say that everyone that told me that your second pregnancy flys by was totally right! I have so many expectations (good and bad) for how life is going to be once Harper finally arrives. Im so excited to see how Bennett reacts, but also nervous as well. I hope he just loves her immediately. Im worried about myself too, about being able to take care of two babies...it can be hard enough with one! :) Im thankful though, because I know that the Lord is molding and refining me already to be a mother of two. His timing is perfect, and I know I will be ready when Harper makes her big debut! 

do not let the sun go down..

I was inspired and convicted (in my husbands words) by our church service this morning. For a long time, I have let satan have a hold of certian friendships in my life (ones that I, myself have hurt) and continued to leave situations unresolved. For a while now, God has been convicting me of my need to place him first and to get things right. As Christians, we are called to be in fellowship with other believers. We cannot be in fellowship, however, when we allow sin left unresolved. There were a few friendships that I had hurt and left behind. In each of those friendships, there was a different situation and a different problem that needed to be solved, different things that needed to be apologized for. I let it go for so long though, because I felt that I was not the only one in the wrong.

I just want to praise God for the ability to let go of my pride and follow Him in trying to resolve these issues with said friends. I know that when we embrace the Lord and His commands, we are set free and not only does He forgive us our wrongdoing, but he places in the hearts of others the ability to forgive as well.

I dont know how these situations are going to turn out, but I do know that I did the right thing. I followed the Lord and His commands (even if it took me a very long time to do so) and that He will be glorified in that. I hope that each of you can say a short prayer for me and the situations surrounding this post and you will just ask God to grant closure and forgiveness to me and the other persons involved.

One Small Step...

Bennett took his first step on Thursday. He was walking around the coffee table, and as he got close to me I held out my arms and said "come here baby," he then let go with both hands and took a step in my direction before falling into my arms. I can't believe how fast our baby boy is growing! It wont be long now before he is walking, talking, and causing all kinds of trouble for mommy and daddy!

Kyle got to feel Harper kick! It was just the coolest thing! I imagine that no matter how many children a woman has, there is nothing quite like being able to feel him/her move for the first time and then getting to share that with your husband. We are experiencing the miracle of life all over again and God has blessed us immensely with another happy and healthy baby. I am so excited about being able to see Harper's growth as I grow along with her! I cant wait to hold this little girl in my arms...

In other news, we are again thinking about moving back to Tulsa. As some of you know, Kyle applied at a church in Arkansas and made the first round of cuts only to find out that they didnt think he had enough experience to qualify for a full-time position. Can I say that getting into the ministry is really, really hard? I never imagined that my sweet, kind, loving and passionate husband would be continually overlooked by churches that believed he didnt have enough experience. Its so frustrating and partially liberating at the same time. We are both starting to believe that we're not ready to be in ministry yet, and that has to be why God keeps closing doors. So, now that we know that Arkansas isnt an option, we are seriously discussing moving back to OK. I know that many people will question our motives for coming here and moving back so quickly, but the truth is: we miss our families. We want Bennett and Harper to have a part in the lives of their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. (I also cant imagine being 5 1/2 hours away trying to raise an infant and toddler all by myself while Kyle is working) Moving back to Tulsa for us is the best of both worlds, Kyle will still be able to take class and work at QT and we will be close to our friends and family. We really miss Josh, Bethany and Ian too.

I turn 17 weeks pregnant tomorrow, and Bennett turns 10 months old! We are already in preperation for his Monster Bash in August. I cant wait to have his cake smash pictures done and throw his party. In two short months, our baby boy will no longer be a baby anymore...he will have transitioned into the world of toddlerhood..

Daddy's Little Girl

We found out yesterday that #2 is a girl. I can't even begin to express the happiness I felt when hearing the ultrasound tech's words "Well, I hope you wanted a girl!" We have decided to name her Harper Elaine. Harper, just because we liked it and Elaine after my mom, Lynnette.

All the thoughts and emotions that surround knowing we are having a girl are overwhelming. Bennett is going to have a little sister, I'm going to have a daughter (Lord help me), Kyle is going to have a daughter (Lord help him!) :) We are going to have to pay for a prom dress, a wedding...but even before that, we are going to have to train Bennett to keep the boys away from our little princess.

What a great opportunity, too. I will have the chance to teach Harper what it means to find her worth in the Lord. Kyle and I will hopefully be able to be an example of a godly relationship and a godly marriage, hopefully we will be able to show her what to look for in a husband by how we live out our marriage. I get the opportunity to teach her about real beauty and not world's version of beauty. I get to teach her how to dress fashionably, but modestly. Kyle will get to show her the kind of love she deserves, and the kind of love she should fight for in a husband. We will all get to show her what it means to be a family that follows the Lord and seeks his will and direction for our lives. I can't wait to begin teaching Harper what it means to be a woman that loves the Lord.

I know now that being a mother to a daughter will not be easy. If I had 20 sets of hands and feet I still wouldnt be able to count on them the amount of times I have fought with my mother, the number would far exceed the number of fingers and toes availiable. I can't begin to tell you the number of times I thought my mother had no idea what she was talking about, or how many times I thought she was just "too old fashioned." So again, as I think on being the mother of a teenage daughter, all I can think is "Lord help me!"

I'm so excited! I can't wait for her to be here. I can't wait to put huge bows on her head and dress her in pretty dresses, I can't wait to see how Bennett interacts with her, how Kyle loves on her. Its a whole new ballgame now...

So Many Things, So Little Time

Where do I begin...
Bennett is crawling, he's crusing, he is eating table food 5 times a day (three meals, two snacks), he is completely off the bottle. I can't believe our little one is growing up so fast. My biological mother gave me some really great insight about raising children...she said "one day, you are going to look back and wish you could just have one second back, one day of cleaning up after Bennett all day long, one day of having to try and manage a teething baby.." Is it sad that I feel that way already? What I wouldnt give for one more day of cuddling Bennett all day long, one more night of waking up every two hours, just so he could be little again. Time goes so quickly when you have children.

Bennett playing at the park! He has gotten SO big!

For those of you who don't know (and I doubt there are many of you) Kyle and I are expecting our second child in November of this year. Our official due date is November 11, 2012. As of today, I am 15 weeks pregnant, and let me tell you, I feel every bit of 35 weeks pregnant! I forgot how much I hated the days when I felt like I had to explain to everyone "no, I havent just gained weight, Im pregnant." Im ready for the 25 week + mark where it is plain that Im pregnant and not just fat. On a happier note, we go in Thursday to find out the sex of #2. I wanted so badly to have a gender reveal party or something of the sort, but living so far away from our families has limited our possibilities. I think we will just call and tell everyone (and put it on Facebook) like we did with Bennett.

Kyle and I have both finished school for the summer. Kyle, his first semester and I have finally finished my bachelors degree. Overall, I can honestly say that last semester was the worst semester of my life! With Kyle working nights, sleeping during the day, having to go to class, having to do homework...my taking care of Bennett, taking care of the house, and studying for a final...It was a stressful few months. Top that off with being 51/2 hours from the nearest family and you get one stressed out momma! Im so glad that phase of my life is over and I can spend the next couple years just loving on my babies, playing with my babies, and not having to worry about school!

Another little nugget of news, Kyle has applied for a position at FBC Alma Arkansas, and has made the first round of cuts. We find out by May 30th whether they want to bring him in for an interview. So, we may be moving to Alma! However, if that is not where the Lord wants us, we are very serious about moving back to Oklahoma. There are many people in our lives who would like for us to stay here, but its just so hard being away from our family when we have a little one (and will soon have two.) Another great piece of advice from my biological mother: "We werent meant to raise our children away from everyone we love. Its hard raising babies, there is nothing wrong with needing your family." Kyle and I agree 100%. We want to raise our children where they will be in the presence of their family. We want to show them the importance of family, and the importance of being involved in the lives of those you love.

Sunday Morning Blog

Its 9:17am and its already been a long morning. I should probably wait to blog until Im a bit more coherent, but this will just have to work. Have I said that I love hazlenut coffee? I think its the highlight of my mornings (after seeing my hubby and my sweet baby boy's morning smile.) Hazlenut coffee is just so yummy.
I couldnt sleep again last night. I dont know whats wrong with me, I just cant sleep anymore. Ill have one night of really great sleep and then not sleep well for the next two nights. I think its because Kyle isnt here. These night shifts arent getting easier for either of us. We pray every night that the Lord will open up a door for Kyle to work somewhere else. (Isnt being so far away from our family hard enough without adding this night-time job as well??) I just want to be able to sleep. Next to my husband preferably.

11:00 church services are a blessing. I wish all churches would have 11:00 services. I feel like I have so much more time in the mornings when we dont have to be at church until 11. This morning, for instance, I got up at 6:45, started the roast for dinner, made scrambled eggs with canadian bacon and pepperjack cheese and mini cinnamon rolls, got Bennett up, fed him, played with him, put him down for his nap and cleaned the kitchen. I have been productive already! Mornings like this are great, when I sleep...today, Im exhausted and its only 9:25. I could go back to bed right now and sleep for several hours...Im lazy!

Bennett is turning into such a strong-willed child. His personality is definately starting to shine through and its so funny (and partly annoying sometimes). He is a whiner!! When he doesnt get what he wants, he wont stop whining. Especially when he is on his tummy...he high-centers on his tummy, flails his arms and legs and whines. Its kinda funny. We think he is starting to cut teeth again too...His top gums are swollen and you can really see the outline of little teeth. Poor baby. I remember cutting my wisdom teeth...that was awful. Pray for Bennett...cutting teeth is painful.

Also, please pray for me, that Ill start sleeping well again. And pray that God opens a door for Kyle to work somewhere else. Bennett starts going to Mothers Day Out on campus this week too, just on Tuesdays. Pray he adjusts well and enjoys playing with other babies. Im worried about him.