Sometimes I just need to pay attention!

I was really not very excited to realize that I have been doing everything in my power to keep from putting our current situation into the hands of our Creator. After a very long talk with my mom yesterday, some tears and some time in God's word, I realized that I just need to be patient and let God work. (That is totally not my thing) Patience continues to be one of the things that God is working on in my life. I am so impatient in almost every aspect of my life. I was too impatient to wait to get married, too impatient to wait to have a baby, too impatient to wait for our little one to finally get here, and now, once again, Im too impatient to wait on God. Though this is something that is really hard for me, I know that there is nothing I can do to make progress, there is nothing I can do to change the situation. A few very wise people have said to me (numerous times) that if I cant change a situation, then there is no reason for worrying about it. I however, seem to worry about everything. I think mainly my childhood is to blame for my constant worrying, but though (I think) I have a very valid reason for my constant worrying, the truth is...my worrying says that God, our provider, isnt going to provide. It says that I dont trust him to provide for our needs and I dont trust him to keep us afloat in times like these. Ive been struggling a lot lately with my faith and have had times where I wasnt sure what I really beleived. I am happy to say, however that though my struggles were long and hard, as of today I have been restored. I know that God is our provider and I am content to wait on Him and His provision. I cant say it wont be hard, I cant say that my flesh wont make things difficult but I have resolved to stand strong in the face of adversity and rely on the One that is in control. I want to thank all of you that have been praying for me and my family.

There are still a few things we could use prayer for.
1. Pray that Kyle and I can rely on God to provide and that he wont accept a position anywhere without prayerful consideration.
2. Pray that Kyle and I are open to God's leading and that regardless of what other's think, we will follow the Lord where he leads.
3. Pray that regardless of where we end up in the next few months or years that our families will be supportive.
4. Pray that Bennett feels safe and secure, loved and wanted regardless of where we are.
5. Pray that Kyle's time in Seminary is insightful and that he meets several men his age that he can confide in, trust and become great friends with.

Also, Bennett is thriving and growing like crazy. His tooth has finally broken all the way through his gums and he has just been sweet through the entire ordeal. He has started eating oatmeal (with bananas) and loves it! We have also started giving him a little bit of juice every day as well and he just sucks it down. Our little man is growing up so fast.

Hazelnut Coffee and Buttered Banana Bread

I like Saturdays. Saturdays are worry free, not having to wonder if Kyle is going to get a call about a job kind of days. Nothing big happens on Saturdays...nothing business-like anyways. Im not looking forward to Monday. In all the excitement and planning for our BIG move to Ft. Worth, I never imagined things turning out like this. I make it through each day, zombie-like, stressed out because I dont know how were going to make it-I dont know how were going to pull through this time. Ive always been a planner and in my eyes, our move/job situation was planned out as well as it could have been...I guess I need to make sure to think of EVERY situation we might come across from now on. That way, when Im stressing to the max, at least Ill have a plan. When asking for advice from different people about the situation, Im consistantly told the same thing....have faith that God will provide. But I dont want to have faith...I either want God to provide or not provide so I can get past waiting to see whats going to happen. I dont want to wonder anymore. Im glad its Saturday, today I dont have to worry about how were going to make it because today, there is nothing I can do to ensure we do. Today, I can just relax and enjoy the time I get to spend with my husband and my baby boy. Today, I can enjoy my hazelnut coffee and buttered banana bread in peace.

Big Boy!

He loves his toy from Grandma Nett!

Soo Fun!

Little tooth for the little man

Bennett is starting to get his first tooth! Yes, you read it right...my (newly) 5 month old baby boy is getting his first tooth! He is growing up so fast. I had noticed he had been a bit more fussy as of late but just thought it was because he hasnt gotten every nap every day in a while. So, while he has been waking up in the middle of the night every night, I just thought he was cranky from not getting all his sleep. Monday he was in one of his moods where he wanted to chew on everything in sight so naturally, any time he was around momma or daddy he wanted to chew on our fingers. As I began to let him chew on my knuckle, I felt a little scratch-like sensation every once in a while and finally decided to check it out. Sure enough, you can see the little tooth right there beneath his gums! It hasnt popped fully through yet but its getting there. Every day you can feel a little more of his little tooth. Im so excited and so sad at the same time. I keep saying that I cant wait for him to be a toddler, but every time I think about him getting any bigger or look at pictures of him right after we brought him home, it brings me to tears. I dont want my baby to grow up because every milestone means he is one milestone closer to being independent and getting out on his own. I think Ill start praying for God to make the days go by slower so I can fully cherish every day I have with my little man. Im sure gonna miss these days of snuggling and eat-your-face-kisses when he grows up.

Simple Adjustments

Since it has been so long since I have been able to post, I feel some updates are necessary. Not long after my last post, Gas Drops, Bennett started feeling better thanks to some help from Nana Sherrie. We got to spend Christmas Eve with my grandma Alice, Kyle's family, and Christmas day with my parents, mimi and papa, aunt and uncle and then Christmas evening with Sherrie's side of the family. We were busy. We drove back to Ft. Worth the Monday after Christmas. Since arriving back, we have gotten to spend a lot of time together as a family which has been a huge blessing! Bennett really loves to have mommy and daddy home for him to play with. We finally got all our Christmas decorations put up, the last of Bennett's presents put together and gave the apartment a good cleaning. We are still waiting for Kyle to get a call back about a job at Quik Trip which is hard for me, but we know that our God will provide. Yesterday we tried out a new church, Southcliff Baptist and it was really great! I think Southcliff is definately on our list of places we would like to visit again before deciding on a church home. Also, we discovered today that Bennett has a tooth trying to poke through! Our baby is growing up too fast!
I would/do still appreciate everyone praying for us in this transition. Because of my personality and my need to have a plan, wating on the Lord to provide for us is really hard for me. If you could, please pray specifically for these things:

1. That Kyle and I will be able to trust in the Lord to provide for us in general.
2. That Kyle and I will be able to trust in the Lord for a job for him while we are here in Ft. Worth and while he is in Seminary.
3. That the Lord will provide friends for us here, and that I will find a mommy-friend to spend time with that has a child around the same age as Bennett.
4. That the Lord will call us to a church family quickly so we can get involved and meet new people.
5. That the Lord will keep his hand on Bennett as his first tooth is coming in, and He would ease his pain.
6. That the Lord will continue to work in our hearts and change us into people that will thrive in the ministry.
7. That the Lord will speak to us on a daily basis as we strive to spend time in His word daily.

Just some eye candy for ya! Look at that face! :)

Bennett's First Christmas

Bennett with Santa (Glenn) at the Troyer Family Christmas

He cant help but chew on everything!

With cousins Nathan and Lily.

Talking Puppy from Nana Sherrie, he LOVED that thing!

Christmas day, handsome in his Christmas sweater!