School Doesn't Teach You How to be a Parent.

Lately I have been wishing there was a mandatory class you have to take before becoming a parent. We have recently been getting into the "discipline-woes" as I like to call them. With SO much text out there on parenting and discipline, you have to wonder: "Where do I start?!!" We began our journey of learning how to discipline Bennett by just winging it. It didnt take us long to learn that our strong-willed, hard-headed, and very independent (almost 21 month old) wasnt responding to what we were doing. We were at a loss as whether or not to spank, to explain to him what he did wrong, to give choices, etc. We werent sure just how much he really understood about why we were punishing him. We were (and still really are,) clueless.
So, in the midst of learning how to manage our little one, we were introduced to a book called Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood. Essentially, the basis of this book is learning how to give your child choices (that you can live with) and teaching him/her how to use their brain when in a situation that calls for a different response than the one they have used. The ideas behind this text are wonderful! I think they will be a great asset to us, but not until Bennett starts to use language more and begins to be able to reason. (around 3+). If you have preschoolers around this age, I highly recommend it.



You can find it on Amazon for fairly cheap here:http://www.amazon.com/Love-Logic-Magic-Early-Childhood/dp/1930429002

This book just wasnt working for us. We then tried the "counting method." When Bennett was doing something we didnt want him to do, like whining, we would give him a "1" if he didnt stop, 5 seconds later, he got a "2" and if he still continued to do whatever it was he got a "3" and 2 minutes of bedroom time (time out). This seemed to work okay for a couple of days and then he just became immune to it. He didnt mind bedroom time because there are toys in his bedroom he can play with. He would just walk inside his bedroom, turn to me and say "bye bye." :/

After two attempts at discipline (in ways that didnt come natural to me,) I decided to try one last thing. I just happened to come across the book Parenting By the Book by John Rosemond on the ABCJLM preschool curriculum creators blog. She raved about it, so I thought we would give it a go. Rosemond's claim is that the reason that children are so "out of control" these days is because we have stopped disciplining them in the way that our grandparents and great grandparents disciplined their children. We have become child-centered families instead of God-centered families. We center our lives, marriages, etc. around our children. This kind of focus leads to children who feel entitled, and are in a sense, "out of control." My eyes have been opened to how we have been listening for so long to all this nonsense about parenting, when we have the greatest resourse at our fingertips: the Bible! Rosemond teaches about how we must turn back to the scripture and rely on the Lord for guidance when it comes to raising and disciplining our children, not some psychologist that just wants to give a diagnosis. I am only about 3/4 of the way through this, but let me tell you, I am excited to finish it and use what Ive learned!

This can be found on Amazon as well: http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Book-Biblical-Wisdom-Raising/dp/1416544844/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1367090240&sr=1-1&keywords=parenting+by+the+book



And to each of you I say, good luck and happy parenting! 

A lot to say, a little time

WOW! It has been SO long since I have posted. Life has been a whirlwind in the past 4 months. It seems that after we brought Amelia home, life has been non-stop. We have officially given up our search to buy a home. We moved into the townhouses on campus (family housing). Bennett got sick with Croup. Milly got RSV. Kyle and I both got something as well. Kyle is mid-semester of his 3rd semester here at SWBTS. I am in the beginning of my second 8-week masters course in ED Tech. ( I made an A in my first one!!!) Bennett is now 19 months old! My first born, my baby boy is on his way to being TWO! It makes me cry every time I think about it. Time goes by so fast when you have babies. Milly is 1/3 of a year old.

Kyle has applied for a corporate position at QT again. The actual title is "Tax and License Analyst." Doesnt that sound fun? ;) As much as I do not want to move back to Oklahoma any time soon, (really, just Tulsa,) it would be nice to be around family. I have to say that I really, really like Fort Worth. It took me a while to get here, but its become our home. We had our baby girl here. Not to mention all the people we have met that we have come to know and love.

Ive recently chosen to try and steer our family towards a healthier, more active lifestyle. We made the decision to become Advocare distributers, and I think that had a lot to do with it. I also have become very concious of the things I am feeding my husband and babies. I want to serve them as much of a organic, non-gmo diet as we can possibly afford. It is important to me that we are putting good, wholesome things into our bodies.

Please be praying for us as we should know within a week or so whether or not Kyle will get an interview for this position. There will be a lot of different dynamics we will have to learn how to deal with when (and IF) we move back to OK. We hadnt been planning on moving back, so we havent been saving to move. I am also just particularly concerned on how relationships will change (for the good and the bad) if we move back. We are so used to being several hours away, and being really, on our own that I think moving back and being closer to family will be hard in some ways.

We want to make sure that we are following the Lords leading, and that if its time for us to move on, we will see that. We also want to make sure that we are doing what is best for our family and not what we think our extended family will want us to do. We know that its hard on everyone with us being so far away, but we also want to preserve the good relationships we do have, even if it means staying here.

Changes

This time a month ago, I was impatiently awaiting the arrival of our little girl. Enduring braxton hicks contractions, knowing that my body was already preparing for her arrival...not understanding why she hadnt made her appearance yet. My midwives and nurses were astounded at the fact that I had not delivered. On Halloween, when asking a nurse whether or not I should have our families make the drive to Fort Worth that night she responded "Do you want them there for the delivery? If so, you should tell them to come right away." Its hard to believe that in just 5 days, our little one will be a month old.
Saying that our life has changed would be an understatement, but its true. There is nothing now that is anything like it was before. Our relationships have changed, our daily activities have changed, our dinner times, our social lives, everything has changed. Kyle and I dont have near the time together that we had before Milly was born, and even then it was limited. We dont have near the time to spend with Bennett as our attention is always divided. We are exhausted. Its a challenge to cook dinner, to clean house, to take showers...its a challenge to find time to eat (for me), a challenge to remember to brush my teeth, to shave my legs..and its worth every bit of a challenge, every bit of change, and every amount of time it takes to raise two children. The joy in our lives has doubled, the love we get to share has doubled, the excitement of being able to see our children grow and change and develop has doubled. There is nothing in the world like being a parent.
To talk a bit about Milly, she was born on November 6th at 12:37pm. She was 8 pounds and 20 inches long. I was scheduled for induction that morning, but I am convinced that I was already in the early stages of labor as we went in to the hospital. Upon arriving and getting checked in, filling out paperwork and discussing medical history with the nurse I had dialated to a 4. We discussed my options, whether or not I wanted to be given pitocin or have my water broke. We decided we wanted to break my water and see how my body responded. At 9 am, my midwife came in and broke my water. I had been having contractions (that didnt hurt) up to this point, but once my water was broken, they started coming really quickly and were really intense. At 9:30 am, they were so bad that I asked for my epidural. Some time around 10:30, I was checked again and delighted to find that I had progressed to an 8. My nurse told me to make sure and call them if at any time I felt like I needed to push. Not long after she left, I began to feel more pressure, but didnt want to call them back in to early. A little before noon, I called my nurses in, was checked and told that it was time to push. By this time, Milly was already crowning. I think the nurses were nervous they were going to have to deliver her because one of them pulled out her cell to call the midwife about the time she walked in. I pushed for about 30 minutes and Milly was born at 12:37.

We only spent one night in the hospital, and came home Wednesday evening around 5:00 pm. Kyle was home with me for almost a week and a half after that.
Since Milly's birth, it has definitely been an experience learning how to manange a household with another child, but its been awesome. I never knew that mommies were capapble of loving so much, but I love my babies more than anything in the world. I cant wait to see what the next 18 years have to hold.
I attemped to have a photo shoot with Milly this afternoon since we didnt have newborn pictures done. Here is one of the cute ones I happened to get.

Milly's Birth Day

 

 

Monkey'in Around for Halloween

Decorating cookies!

Soooo Good!

Our last picture as a family of three!

He was having too much fun..

Any Time Now

I went to the doctor yesterday. I am at a 3 and 50% effaced! The midwife said she expected me to go into labor any time, and that she definitely didnt expect to see me for another appointment! I am so stinking excited, but ready to get this show on the road too. After she said I could potentially go into labor any time, I became SUPER impatient for Milly to get here. I have been having pretty regular contractions (without pain) which is how it started with Bennett, but this pregnancy is already different in the way my body has/is progressing. With Bennett, I was at a 1 and about 25% effaced when I went into labor. They kept me at the hospital when I had finally made it to a 3, so you can imagine Im wondering what in the world my body is doing this time! Knowing that we are really close to welcoming Milly into our family is super nervewracking though! I think we have everything planned/scheduled/arranged for our time in the hospital. Our sweet neighbors Kevin and Anna are going to keep Bennett until Kyle's parents and sister get here and then they are going to take over until its time for me to push and then they are coming up to the hospital. We have talked with the midwives about our labor plan (and I have one typed up,) our bags are packed, the car seat is in the car, the diaper bag is packed, bottles are sanitized just in case I decide to formula feed...everyone has been notified of the impending arrival of our little one and now we are just waiting.
Ive decided that I want Bennett to be the first person after me, Kyle and my mom to see Milly. I want him to be able to see her and I want to see him before we are bombarded with everyone else in the delivery room. Its just important to me that we get time together as a family before the rest of our family comes in. I cant wait to experience those sweet moments together. I think Im almost more nervous about spending so much time away from Bennett than I am about giving birth. He is STILL my baby even though we are bringing another little one into the family. That boy just has my heart like no one else. Among all the other things Im excited about, I cant wait to see Kyle with Milly. He is already silly about this little girl and she isnt even here yet. I can imagine the love that a daddy has for his little girl is like the love I have for my little boy. Now, Im not saying that I wont love Milly just as much as I love Bennett, and likewise for Kyle, but I think it will be a different, equal kind of love. (I guess we will see)

I have pictures from cookie decorating that I need to upload! I hope to get to it before Milly gets here, but if we (I) am lucky, my next post should be announcing her birth! Here's to hoping..

The LD

So here is the "LD" or Low Down on what's going on lately in the lives of the Troyers...We didnt get to decorating cookies last week so we are going to do that tomorrow, and Friday is BOO ZOO where we will dress Bennett up in his costume and take him trick or treating (or something like that.) MOPS was supposed to have a "trick or treating" event this wednesday, but it has been changed to the 31st, much to my dismay. I was really hoping to get in two sessions of trick or treating with Bennett before it got too close to my due date, and Im actually anticipating Milly coming right around Halloween or shortly after. Im not so sure Ill be up to walking around with a million other children swarming all over the place so close to giving birth.
I had my midwife check me for progress at our last appointment. I am at a 1, which is exactly where I was with Bennett at this time in my pregnancy with him. (Im hoping this means she will come early too.) Im planning on having her check me again when I go back on the 24th. I was a bit disappointed that she didnt start me on my every week appointments, but, like with Bennett, my pregnancy is going so smoothly that there really is no reason to come in for visit every week right now. I have been having contractions every day for the last few days, and while they are consistent, they are only consistent for an hour or so and then they stop for good. :( Though I know its too early to be going into labor, Im really anxious to meet Amelia. Im ready for these contractions to turn into the real thing!
Kyle's birthday is coming up too. I keep joking with him that he isnt getting anything but a baby for his birthday but I seriously need to come up with an idea of something to get him. I have a couple things in mind that I would like to get for him for future use, but I kind of want to get him something he can enjoy now. (I really hope that if Im in labor on his birthday that someone will make him a cake, everyone needs at least a cake on their birthday!) I wont even be sad that I cant have any.
Just a reminder, please be praying for us! We have so much coming up in the near future that its a bit overwhelming. Kyle was contacted by a church near Fort Worth and was interviewed Tuesday. He should know something soon if he has made the final round of cuts (to the top TWO!!) and if he does, we all get to go in so they can meet Bennett and me too. He has also applied for another job at the QT corporate office and was contacted in relation to that recently too. We had made the decision to stay here in Fort Worth and not move back until Kyle was done with seminary but it seems as though a state of contentment cannot be found. If either of the two positions doesnt work out, we would like to find a rent house or townhouse near seminary that has three bedrooms. We just dont have that much room as it is and adding another little one is going to make things a bit stuffy! Anywho, we need all the prayer we can get!

As I said, tomorrow is cookie decorating day and Friday is trick or treating at the zoo. Ill post pictures as soon as I can!